"Comparison is the thief of Joy"
I've heard that quote repeatedly throughout my life but I would be lying if I said that I don't compare myself to others at times. Life happens in such a way that as soon as you see someone doing essentially more than you, you automatically feel that you are not doing enough. If there's anything I've learned from comparing myself to others, it's that comparison does more harm than good when allowed to. Now don't get me wrong, comparison could be that motivating factor that you needed to get yourself up and actively pursuing your goals but on the other hand when comparison progresses into unhealthy competition, that's when it becomes detrimental. I thought I'd share some home truths about comparison and ways to avoid comparing yourself to others below/
Focus on your lane and be confident
I know where I am going and I know what I need to do to get there. If I allow comparison to distract me not only will it take me longer to reach my goal, it may also derail my journey and focus. Before you know it, your goal has changed to achieving the same things as someone else which may not classify as a mark of success in your own life. Understand that you are not the person you compare yourself to.
Taking Inspiration or Copying?
It is possible for you to learn from others and what they have done. Be Inspired! But taking inspiration should not mean copying. You cannot expect the same results from years of hard work that it has taken this person to reach great heights. It is possible for you to adopt the positive actions and behaviours you see and adapt it to yourself. It isn't one size fits all, there is scope for you to make it your own and unique to yourself.
"Don't set sail using someone else's star"
Become aware of, and avoid your triggers.
I would describe social media to be a black hole of comparison. We spend hours scrolling through feeds showcasing the highlights of a persons life e.g. their numerous awards, holidays, relationships etc. without truly engaging one another. We don't know what another person is going through, we don't know their struggles or how they were able to achieve what they have. If you find that social media continuously triggers feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration, then choose to take a break or unfollow certain pages. Make sure you control social media and not the other way around.
Embrace the success of others
Embracing the success of others does not make you any less successful. Good things can happen to other people and it doesn't mean that your life is any less important. By being happy for others, you'll learn to accept yourself and cultivate a more positive environment.
Don't let fear guide your choices
Don't make fear based decisions out of feelings of inadequacy. These decisions tend to be the ones you regret in the future. You may feel like you have to do certain things to achieve the same results as someone else but the truth is that there is no pressure. Move at your own pace and take your time to make sure your decisions are truly in order for you to grow and succeed in a way that is unique to you.
"Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle"
Accept where you are and know where you're going
Recognise where you are and what you have achieved so far but also know that this isn't your endpoint. Where you are today doesn’t say anything about where you’ll be in the future. What matters isn’t where you are. What matters is your mindset, attitude, and where you’re going. Simply aim to be the best you can be!
Compare yourself to yourself
This is a more honest metric of success and will also boost your self-esteem.